Growing up I attended a predominantly Jewish school and in a class of forty children there were only two black girls in the entire class. I was one of them.
I wasn’t considered the “pretty girl” and I honestly did not even think myself as being beautiful. I constantly compared myself to the other girls in my class and -to me- I did not compare to them. My skin was darker, my hair was curly and thick; not long and fine and blew in the wind. I had full lips –which I was teased for– and a bigger butt than most girls –which I also was teased for and was constantly accused of stuffing the back of my pants with toilet paper Never mind the fact that I was only 11 years old– There wasn’t anyone who looked like me and I felt as if I did not fit into the category of what was considered beautiful to those around me. I cannot begin to express how many insecurities and complexes were built up because of this. I hated and wanted to change almost every single thing about myself. I would constantly look at other people and think to myself, “Why couldn’t I just look the same like everyone else. ?”
Flash forward to now:
Funny right? The very same thing I was teased for as a child is what now qualifies me as being “so hot.” No, I have not changed anything. The exact same lips I got teased for as a kid are still very much there. But now somehow they are beautiful.
So what is beauty exactly? How is it possible to define something so fleeting and evolving?
The Mona Lisa’s beauty was so astounding that it caused love affairs and suicides. Admirers would bring her -yes the actual painting!– flowers and write passionate love letters, in fact, Napoleon Bonaparte was so infatuated with her that he hung the painting in his bedroom above his bed and eventually fell in love with one of Lisa Gherardini’s descendants because of their striking resemblance.
It is obvious that the concept of beauty in those days are not the same as they are today and I am more than certain that 100 years from now it will change yet again. So why should a standard be set to something so unreliable and indefinite? Should the way you see yourself, or others, be dictated by something that eventually will be of no effect? The very same features I was teased for having as a child are the very same features that are paying for most plastic surgeons expensive homes and exotic cars. Don’t get me wrong, you should always do what makes you feel your best. Whether that is putting on a little makeup, exercising, dying your hair or even going to said plastic surgeon. Whatever makes you feel good about yourself and gives you that extra boost of confidence do it. As long as it is something that makes you feel good about yourself and not to please or be accepted by others, do it. Never change anything about yourself for the approval of someone else.
There were many things that I wanted to change about myself but I had to learn to love the parts of me that nobody clapped for. I learned that what made me beautiful was not how well I fit in but all the things about me that made me stand out. Don’t ever let the world change the perception of how you see yourself for the sake of vanity. You will ultimately find yourself running a race that you can never win and will never finish. It is extremely pointless to base your value on momentary standards or let comparing yourself to someone else somehow trick your brain into allowing you to believe that you are inferior. Let’s face it, in this world it really doesn’t matter who you are or how hard you try to please others. You can be the ripest, most juiciest and sweetest peach on the tree and you’ll still find someone that hates peaches. If you want to know what the definition of true beauty the only thing you have to do is stand directly in front of a mirror and take a good look.
To anyone reading this you are beautiful in every single way and I love you tons!