While I was growing up I went to a predominantly Jewish school, and in a class of 40 kids there were only 2 black girls in the entire class. I was one of them.
I wasn’t considered the pretty girl and I really did not even think of myself as beautiful. I constantly compared myself to the other girls and (to me) I didn’t match up. My skin was darker, my hair was curly and thick and not long and fine and blew in the wind, I had full lips (which I was teased for), and a bigger butt than most girls (which I also was teased for and was constantly accused of stuffing the back of my pants with toilet paper, nevermind the fact that I was only 11 years old). There wasn’t anyone around me who looked like me and I did not fit into the category of what was considered beautiful to those around me. I cannot tell you how many insecurities and complexes I built up becuase of it. I hated almost every single thing about myself. I use to think “why couldn’t I just look like everyone else?”
Flash foward to now:
Funny right? The very same thing I was teased for now is what qualifies me as being “so hot.” No, I have not changed anything. The exact same lips I got teased for as a kid are still very much there now. But now somehow they are beautiful.
So what is beauty exactly? How is it possible to define something so fleeting and evolving?
The Moana Lisa’s beauty was so astounding that it caused love affairs and suicides. Admirers would bring her flowers and write passionate love letters, in fact, Nepoleon Bonaparte was so infatuated with her that he hung the painting in his bedroom above his bed and eventually fell in love with one of Lisa Gherardini’s descendants becauase of their striking resemblance.
It is obvious that the concept of what beauty was then is not the same as today, and I am more than certain that 100 years from now it will change yet again. So why should a standard be set to something so unreliable and indefinite? Should the way you see yourself, or others, be dictated by something that eventually will be of no effect? The very same features I was teased for having as a child are the very same features that are keeping plastic surgeons rich right now. Dont get me wrong, you should always do what makes you feel your best; makeup, exercise or dying your hair, whatever makes you feel good about yourself do it. Just make sure that it’s for the right reasons. But I feel that it is extremely pointless to base your beauty on momentary standards or let comaparing yourself to someone else some how make you feel inferior.
I had to learn to love the parts of me that nobody clapped for. That what made me beautiful wasn’t how well I fit in, but all the things about me that made me stand out. Don’t ever let the world change your perception of yourself for the sake of vanity. You will find yourself running a race that you can never win and never finish. Let’s face it, it really doesn’t matter what you do or how you try to please others; you can be the ripest most juiciest peach on the tree and you’ll still find someone that hates peaches.
To anyone reading this you are beautiful in every single way and I love you tons!